I'm really into asian looking animals
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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