elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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