smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i believe in u and ur pee
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
