I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
These tits shall not be calmed
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