I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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