I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize