Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
