well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
