and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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