Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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