I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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