yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My breasts were aching with rage.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize