Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You can't motorboat a personality
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
