im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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