goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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