one two three fourrrrnication!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
