Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
