do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Randomize
