Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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