oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Banned from zoo.
Again?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
