Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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