Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
