Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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