let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
