Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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