somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
