He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
