you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize
