But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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