They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
