that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize