Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
