Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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