I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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