Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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