i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You may now shotgun with the bride
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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