idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
