Yo dont text me then not text me
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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