i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
