I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
