Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize