he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
