I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
