I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
