shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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