chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
sarcasm needs its own font
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
