Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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