Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
