I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
