i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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