I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
