My brain says no but my pants say off.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
