hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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