Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
from now on my penis is your penis
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
