I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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