they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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