My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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