Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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