we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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