Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
