hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
