Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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