I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
