before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i was born a porn star she said
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
